Thursday, January 12, 2012

Reaching That Cookie Jar

Can you remember those days when you were only a child and you wanted desperately to reach something beyond your limit? Maybe a cookie jar or a toy of an older sibling. Now that many years have passed by, we have changed so much. So do our wants in life. Cookie jars are no longer in our list. Maybe you are now longing to mend a broken relationship. Maybe it is a dream job you are hoping to get this year. Or maybe it is a simple as seeing the person you love.

In my case, my cookie jar has transformed to this: a small dream that began innocently when I was a kid which now has become a part of me. I still feel like a kid struggling so much to reach my cookie jar. I always wanted to become a published writer. This is why I love reading almost everything. This is why I submitted a funny childhood story to Funny Komiks when I was only eight. This is why I learned to keep a diary. This is why I joined the school paper in high school. This is why I joined a songwriting contest in college. This is why I started blogging.

Many times before, I decided to give up this dream. But there seems to be a small voice that constantly bugging me around wherever I go. And last year, at the most crucial time of our lives where the storms were just starting to subside, I had to do it—I resigned from my work, risking it all, and give it another chance.

So far everything looks okay. I am getting good feedback. Even though there was one who said not-so-good thing about it. But all in all, everything seems going great. However, today I felt so sad. I felt so down. I wanted to oblige myself to hold on for the future because God has something great in store for me. I wanted to believe that.

When I was cleaning some old stuff, I read some old entries in my last diary telling my series of depression and how God had listened to me all the time and how He saved me from it. I felt relieved instantly. But here I am again, feeling the weight of getting there. I feel like a woman in labor, enduring all the pains and anticipation and despair all at the same time. I just hope that in the end, it is gonna be a healthy baby.

In Mark 5:21-34, there was a woman who suffered a continuous blood flow. Under Jewish law, a woman’s blood flow caused her to be unclean. And so did those she touched. For twelve years, she never felt a warm human touch. This could be her cookie jar. Imagine her sadness and depression. Perhaps she kept herself away from people for those many years. But when she heard about Jesus’s visit, she dared to go through the crowd. If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed…, and after she touched His clothes, she got healed that instant. Jesus told her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you…” I admire this woman for her huge faith in Jesus.

I know we are all blessed because we belong in this generation which is under God’s grace because of what Jesus did on the cross. I just smile to myself, feeling silly for having such a little faith. I thank God for reminding me—again—that He is with me always and forever.

So you get up and reconcile that broken relationship, get that dream job, or go for it and see the one you love. Get that cookie jar. After that, give thanks to the LORD.