Saturday, February 5, 2011

(Choosing To Be Happy With) My Now

Happy with my NOW.

What most people do on a rainy Sunday morning? Cuddling on bed, either with someone or with self alone. If this is a question to me that I need to answer, I am writing - which is obvious.

I like it when I wake up to a rainy morning or a rainy dawn. It brings back memories. Sometimes there are memories I just realized I had forgotten about for so long. Many of them make me smile. On the other hand, many of them come back with pins and pins of heartaches pricking into my soul and hurting me like the first time.

I don't know what's with me. I think to some weird point of our lives, once in a while, we like remembering the pains that were gone for so long. I don't mean to say because we are not yet done of forgiving or letting go for that matter. I think the word I am looking for is REGRETTING.

I had a chat with Nanie, a friend from high school, in Facebook yesterday and it felt good having conversation with an old friend. Before we ended the chat, we talked about missing high school and what we used to be. Then she went on like she wished that time stood still and we were stuck in those high school memories.

Suddenly I thought of Gracia and quickly pushed away that wish from my heart for I don't want to go back in high school and lose Gracia. There I realized I am happy with my NOW with my family and NOW friends and with Gracia.

However, like Nanie, there were things I feel like I am regretting. Things that I didn't do when I had the chance in the world to do them. I wish I had the courage to do them before opportunity passes by me...and wake up to a rainy Sunday morning praying that we can turn back time.

This makes me appreciate more what I have now. This makes me want to enjoy the journey itself and get the best out of it, instead of focusing too much on my destination.

Every moment counts! So if we can't beat the regrets at the latter part of our lives, let's try to minimize them by choosing to be happy with our NOW.

What makes coffee sweet?
It's the stirring you do after you add sugar.
In life , it's what you do with what you have that makes your life worth living.

From Carmelite, January 24, 2010