Light of the World

“Jesus is the light that shines brightest in the midst of darkness.”

There were so many times in my life I felt so much discouraged, helpless and hopeless. I was thinking to give up. Many times I thought I already gave up. But something was so strong that never stopped hoping and believing that it would end soon.

Even though I was raised as a Christian, I was not reading our Bible that much. Prayers were my source of strength. I couldn’t count how many times I had prayers in which I had more sobbing than forming the words. I felt like a kid finding comfort in his Father’s arms.

One day I realized that I was so away from God that I couldn’t find connection anymore in my prayers. It felt like God wasn’t listening to me anymore. It was the scariest feeling ever I felt in my life. To some point, I thought I was only a moving thing on earth of no importance at all. It was terribly breaking me into pieces everyday. If only I could scream and make all the angels tremble and finally hear me so the LORD would lend an ear to me, I would really do so.

But there was nothing I could do. Until the Victory Weekend last year, the two-day Christian Retreat in Victory Christian Fellowship Center, I knew more of the LORD. Suddenly I heard Him again speaking to me. I just realized that all my sins were hindering me from hearing what the LORD was telling me all those times. But you know what was so amazing about that? Even if I was not hearing the LORD because of my sins, He never stopped loving me, protecting me, guiding me, and I felt so blessed that I couldn’t thank the LORD enough for His so awesome love. I was saved by Grace.

Now I thought after the Victory Weekend and after the one-week fasting season, I would get strong in spirit that I could finally do what the LORD wants me to do. Yes, there is something God wants me to do which as of now, I don’t know exactly what it is yet. God wants me to develop the holy fear (the wisdom) so I could be an effective disciple of Christ. It is breaking my heart every time I fail the LORD. I should have been doing so many things already for Him but because I kept falling, I kept on going back to zero. But in the grace of the LORD I know I can make it. For now I believe when Jesus said “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12) It feels good that with Jesus, I can always start. But this time, there will be a tremendous spiritual growth in me that will follow by. This I declare in the name of Jesus. Amen.#

“Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress…The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.” Isaiah 9:1, 2.

Reporting,
Fernand Yim

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