True Forgiving

My biggest challenge recently is the health condition of Papa. He had a spot in his left lung as a result of a longtime smoking. And many other complications which are all because of the kind of lifestyle he used to have during his heyday.

Honestly I was hurting so much. I was hurting because every time like this happens in our family which eventually will result to financial challenge, I feel like it is so unfair that I should suffer, or we all should suffer, the result of all his fault in the past. How could you forget something that made you so miserable now? How could you forgive someone who is not admitting his mistakes? How could you let go of something which is hurting you the more? And how could you accept the consequences of someone else’s fault which are taking your future away from you?

This feeling fed the longtime hatred I was keeping all along within me. I was blaming him for every problem, every heartache, every failed dream, every tear, every fear, every threat we are facing each day.

If I would write everything here it would be a very long post that might cover the entire space there is in this blog. Anyway that is not what I am writing about here. I am writing here all the things I had realized. Things that God made me realize.

I didn’t realize that nurturing this feeling of hatred is like blocking the power of God to be performed in my life. It is like closing my door from Him so that He could enter and help me through all of this. In other words, this is affecting my faith. It is corrupting my faith and my personal relationship with the LORD.

I am so thankful that God would not just allow my situation to get extended. Yesterday before I went to church I surrendered it all to Him in a prayer. It was amazing to realize that all along God was teaching me a vey important lesson that I should have learned long time ago. That is forgiving.

True forgiving is letting go of what already had happened. It is about not what are the results of the mistakes in the past. It is accepting what has become because of the past. Realizing that past is past is more than just knowing it. It is better that we are willing to take it and get hold of it. Not just merely reading or saying the words.

If you are the person involved in forgiving, if you are the one who needs to forgive, which obviously means that you are the hurting one, forgiving is not easy. And I tell you, it is not easy but it is not impossible. All you need to do is ask God to help you to forgive someone who has hurt you so much. Remember a perfect and all-loving God has forgiven us even before we ask for forgiveness. We are so blessed that God is so forgiving and loving. And one of many ways that we could glorify God for this beautiful gift of forgiveness is by forgiving all the people who have hurt us in the past. Don’t prolong the suffering. Forgive and let go. When you let go, don’t ever bring it up whenever something again happens. Prayers are very helpful as well as reading the Bible. And it would be more helpful if you would surround yourself with Christian friends whom you can ask for spiritual help and guidance who will help you as well in prayers.

In my prayer, I thanked God that He had waited for me to finally surrender it all to Him. After that prayer, Papa still has his health issue. We are still facing the financial challenge along with it. But one thing has changed, I feel so secured. I trust in the LORD that He is doing something. It feels good and I believe in the LORD.

As it is written:

But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.
Psalm13:5-6 NIV

I am so happy that God has been so patient with me. #

Reporting,

Fernand Yim